now whilst I do not claim to be totally blameless in what I am about to write I also do not think of myself as that bad!!
basically as I drive around I get to see some amazing driving that frankly would not look out of place on police, camera, action!
As my girlfriend will tell you I get very annoyed with even little things on the road, the main one being people not using indicators.......I was under the impression that "indicators" were and "indication" to other drivers.........most of the people I see I think just drive using the force!!
anyway to my gripe in question
Yesterday I was most unfortunate to be stuck in the amazingly thought out "operation stack"
for those of you who dont know it " operation stack" is when they need to divert overflow traffic from Eurotunnel and basically use the motorway as a car park........
the down side of this is that whenever there is a problem at the tunnel OR at the port......"stack" is on....and I am sure we all know how the french like a good strike......so pretty much once a month a small area of kent descends into chaos.
This wouldnt be so bad if it was the same "stack" everytime, but I have noticed that by some bizarre twist...the police change it.....perhaps to keep things interesting!!
so in the last week alone I have had the following
Phase 2 of stack- this is where for no apparent reason the decide to close the motorway at Maidstone!!! which is about 30 miles from Folkestone!! At this point you have to leave the motorway and troll through the country side in the longest traffic conga this side of London...only to get to ashford and be allowed back on the motorway all the way to folkestone!!
Phase 1
this is where they close the motorway at Hythe and basically send you on the A20....pretty harmless........or at least it was until yesterday!!
and this leads me back to my gripe!!
I was driving down the motorway towards ashford an dthe Motorway signs said "shut at junction 11) so all of a sudden I had the major dilemma and panic do I come off at Ashford or do I risk it.......stupid is as stupid does and by the time I was thinking about it I was past the junction and on my way to a bizarre turn of events!!
As I came towards the junction they had signs that quite frankly stevie wonder would see!!
saying
Lorries left lane cars in middle lane and the outside lane is closing in 1000m
so as I was told I indicated and moved into the middle lane
at around the 800m sign the traffic stopped as one would think....however.....and this is my gripe!
WHY in gods green earth do people persist driving all the way to where the lanes close before moving across!!! Can these morons not see that when they do this.....this is the sole factor that is causing the stoppage!!
so there I was sat in the middle lane and I couldnt believe the arrogance of some people driving all the way to the end......so I thought I would have some fun :)
I pulled out into the outside lane and basically drove alongside a van so no one could pass......once the van man had seen me do this he found it most amusing and was chatting to me......all the while I had a big jaguar behind me....beeping his horn, swerving and generally being impatient.....oh and he was on his mobile phone!!
Now how on earth can you buy a 60k car and not have bluetooth in it? Fords have it now so I am sure he did....so he was either too dumb to use it or just being a nuff nuff!!
anyway I decided to pull in about the 400 metre sign and the white van man kindly let me in, at which point the jaguar managed to actually stop the world spinning on its axis by his acceleration!!
the funny point is he managed to get 2 cars ahead by the time the traffic slowed down!!
as we entered the funnel into two lanes no car would let him in......rightly so in my opinion....but there you go....
so what he did...and bear in mind he is still onhis phone....is just move into my lane and basically assume I would stop!
well I didnt :) I have a company car and I am sure he values his car more than I value mine, so I kept on driving......we basically ended up alongside each other and he was stuck...at which point he shouted at me for not letting him in and basically called ,e every name under the sun.......which I thought was brave for a middle aged man as i am not small!!! and whilst I wouldnt be violent....its a risk in this day and age....
so there we were alongside each other as we prepared to board!!(pirate style)
after he stopped calling me some colourful names, I calmly pointed to the 8ft sign on his right and asked him if he was blind.....
and the conversation went something like this
(middle aged man)of course I am not blind you ugly bastard!
(Me) my my my what rapier wit you have, the reason I asked if you were blind is because you seem to have missed 6 previous gigantic signs to get into lane
(middle aged man) yeah, and? I dont pay attention to those, so let me in you f****** moron
(me) well......when you put it like that.......no!
(middle aged man) dont be such a prick and let me in....
(me) and tell me one reason why I should? everyone else has managed to grasp the pretty simple premise of getting into lane, but you seem to be a little more arrogant than most!!
anyway the abuse continued until I drove forward........I then saw in my rear view mirror he proceeded to abuse the white van man.......who responded......and then he proceeded to abuse at least a further 3 cars after that!!
So who was actually in the right......I personally think if you are polite and let people in when they try and get across in time......then you tend to get a little more respect in life, but to drive all the way to the end and then expect people to help you.....well I think that is pretty arrogant!
oh and the fun didnt stop there......the police...the law enforcement group....not the pop group! well they had been very busy over night, instead of teh usual diversion, they made us come off the motorway then get back on and then cut across 3 lanes and into a contraflow on the other side of the motorway!!!
this seemed a simple premise but add the factor that it went from 2 lanes to 3 to 4 then to 2!!
well it was like wacky races.........but less amusing!!
you had cars who would shoot up the inside only to see that it was infact 2 lanes and not 4 and have to slam the brakes on!! and whilst this happened you had cars on the outside doing the same!!
I have to congratulate the police on a job well done for creating the most absurdly mental road system this side of my 4 year old boys attempts at drawing a road.......infact he may have had a hand it in it I suspect...........
anyway that is my rant over.....please let me know your thoughts on road etiquette....and once again I am not blameless in this but yesterday was worthy of a mention!!
Jeffers
